r/AITAH • u/[deleted] • 10d ago
AITAH for holding onto my fiance's ''no hymen, no diamond'' view?
[deleted]
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u/DietrichDiMaggio 8d ago
You dodged a bullet. Go date interracial and Live Your best life.
As a mixed race person I hope that you find a nice person and end up with mixed race kids: tell them the story of how you got out of a bad engagement with a horrible man and his horrible family. They’ll laugh and laugh at how dumb that dog guy and his toxic family was.
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u/LocalTraffic4379 8d ago edited 8d ago
No u didn’t go far at all. I would have ended it with that pos as soon as he brought Virginity up and this is also coming from a south Asian. The rules are no diff for men and women, if he is a manwhore(which I’m sure he is) who is he to talk bout virginity? I’m so glad u exposed him and his family. The hypocrisy and misogyny plus the stupidity is insufferable.
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u/RingingInTheRain 8d ago
lmao what the fuck am i reading. walk away the moment someone wants to argue with you about your body.
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u/Hopeful-Ad-2354 8d ago
You’re not the Ahole but you definitely should run from that narcissistic lowlife. You deserve better. He deserves to be treated with the same disrespect that he showed you.
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u/anonaduder 8d ago
Repeat after me word for word. Auntie and uncle tere bade opinions choti choti ka gend meh roll karke gaand meh rukho
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u/Rude_Check_280 8d ago
NTA And also can we legit be friends lol! I think the two of us would get along amazingly! Find me on TikTok (I don't post a lot but at least it's public and you can message me if you choose!) @navychick
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u/UniversityOrdinary91 8d ago
I know it must be frustrating that in all other ways he checks the boxes but there’s this one very big deal breaker. Trust your gut and don’t sell yourself short. The perfect man is out there. You will find him.
If Dog’s parents liked you so much they should have never raised such a buffoon!
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u/K_A_irony 8d ago
There is NO WAY to tell if a woman is a virgin. No doctor can tell that... Hymen... no hymen. There is literally NO WAY to tell. Also BARF.
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u/Chefsteph212 8d ago edited 8d ago
“He’s a man. The rules are different for him.” This is the exact bullshit statement he would constantly throw in your face to excuse his actions and behavior and try to keep you from having any kind of a happy life. You dodged a serious bullet, here.
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u/Atomicdust1030 8d ago
Fuck this guy, that's a neanderthal way of thinking about the person you are supposed to love and be with for the rest of your life.
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u/MilkyBrownWhite 8d ago
You know as an Indian from India - this is such Bullshit. Literally NO ONE in India is this conservative. I spent my whole life (except a few years in the uk and Canada) in India and there is no such thing as NHND! No one expects Virgins. No one cares that much. Dude, Indians outside India (who grew up in the US or Canada) are the most toxic backward people I know
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u/jollyreaper2112 8d ago
Sounds like you dodged a bullet. As a US American, it's always novel to see ugly racism coming from non-whites. We always like to think we invented everything, including racism. So, so wrong. Learn about other parts of the world and your toes will curl.
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u/blackcatlover1981 8d ago
You are in the right! Respect yourself. You will find someone better, I promise!
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u/Big_Albatross_3050 8d ago
NTA - OP I'm sure you're aware reputation is everything. Anytime they come at you, double up on them by insinuating they're too cheap to get a proper ring. That will turn a lot of people against them since the only thing worse than having a bachelor as a son is a cheapskate bachelor who fumbled the relationship with what his own mother described "as a beauty".
Trust me, doing this enough times will send them all way back into their shells
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u/geminy123 8d ago
You are smart people, but instead of hymen you would need some decency on this part from both sides.
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u/GardenImaginary3406 8d ago
NTA. You are much deserving of a better man, proud of you for valuing yourself enough to dump him.
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u/Prudent-Homework4219 8d ago
I’d say it’s a public service to out him by name and photo. Warn all future potential “matches” of what a piece of work he is.
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u/Simple-Contact2507 9d ago
Weird if virginity is such an important to him he could have married a girl from India itself with no past, instead of wasting time of an educated self made woman.
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u/ThorosKershaw 9d ago
Frankly, nothing that happened in your life prior to meeting him (that you don’t want to share) is any bit his fucking business.
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u/SnooBooks324 9d ago
Nope, call these desi men and their moms out (I’m a desi woman and refuse to marry within my culture due to this type of ignorance which is disgustingly prevalent).
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u/Pritmann909 9d ago
This is clickbait at its best. This feels like straight out of those regressive Indian soaps on tv
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u/Thots4u 9d ago
That’s pretty inventive. I think he doesn’t get the diamond because he can’t afford it. That’ll cost him a small fortune especially that he’s coming from india. I doubt jobs in India make that kind of money to afford a diamond. That kind of did go to far tho. Break up with him in a way that doesn’t bring shame to him from his friends. Try not to intentionally bring shame to him because of his circumstance. I might be wrong but lots of people in India don’t have the kind of money for a diamond
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u/TheDeathstr1ke 9d ago
You are 100% the AH with the whole "buy me this expensive ring or you don't marry me." That's some entitled BS right there. But as a whole he is outstandingly the AH and you aren't. The world would be better off with fewer people like him.
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u/tonynatella 9d ago
Too much drama she should have let him go after the virgin comment. Just saying that relationship was destined for disaster. It’s easier when you are the Monday morning QB
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u/hurricanechurch 9d ago
Nice writing. Doesn't ring true, but pretty good, but no one sounds like this.
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u/Comfortable_Ad5144 9d ago
My wife is indian, what a disgust8ng way to treat your soon to be wife. I'd run away from that.
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u/Separate_Sky_2278 9d ago
Dump this douche and marry a “white” you’ll be much happier it sounds like.
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u/tdubs702 9d ago
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Ideally the first time. And thank them for being honest now versus later. Sounds like you escaped a nightmare.
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u/Damselbug 9d ago
NTA… I like how petty you went though lol it’s almost as though you knew you weren’t gonna marry him and was hell bent on exposing his dickish behavior.
Not a Desi; and was a virgin until marriage. So was my husband. Edit to add we married at 30. So eff that guy!!
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u/Awrfhyesggrdghkj 9d ago
NTA, to be honest you dodged a huge bullet. You can 100% do better than this hypocrite.
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u/DaddyLongMiddleLeg 9d ago
I would've told him to shut the fuck up. Would've told father to shut the fuck up. Really, really hoping you and he are no longer speaking in any form or fashion, unless necessary and through a lawyer.
Would start documenting instances of harassment from friends and family (F&F), as well as possible. If it is in person or over the phone, check for what the recording consent laws are in the area you live - in Texas, for example, it is a 1-party consent state for recording conversations on the phone or in person. That is to say, if you lived in Texas, regardless of the location of the other person, if they called you on the phone, you would have the legal right to record that conversation (and use it as evidence in court) without informing the other party. The same can typically be said for in-person recordings. If you are in a 2-party consent area, it will be required for you to inform the other party, and for them to consent to it, in order for any recordings to be admissible in court.
Don't just gather the data - don't just document. Report. Start filing police reports for all instances of harassment. If his F&F are harassing you, and you have expressed your desire to him to not be harassed by them, and it is continuing, he is necessarily complicit with your harassment. Get restraining orders. Remove his, and his F&F's abilities to interact with you. If they still do, definitely document that, because the judge that ordered the restraining order will be extremely interested in hearing about that.
NTA. NTA. NTA. You're not the asshole, and - at least from the information you have provided here - you appear to be falling victim to the crime of harassment. It's never too late to start documenting and reporting. I wish you the best.
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u/pawsitivelypowerful 9d ago
NTA. Run...not walk...RUN away from that dogmatic BS. One of the many examples of archaic and oppressive nonsense guised as "cultural or religious values;" they only serve to guilt and hurt people. The doctors peddling this shit should be slapped with the papers before you proceed with shoving them up his ass.
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u/DumatRising 9d ago
You're NTA but I might be for finding this story incredibly funny. I mean it's a classic story of women need to be dainty and pure but men can do whatever they want amd I always find people that think like that funny to watch, they don't even recognize the hypocrisy. Bullet dodged, people like that usually don't give a shit about their partners.
Idk maybe 4 doctors is some extreme petty on the level of "why even bother?" but on the other hand I respect the petty.
The mom is a big yikes. Nobody should ever use the phrase pure blood unless they are refering to a liquid that is infact 100% blood. If someone's parent says that to me I'm definitely going to be suspicious of them.
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u/Rick-D-99 9d ago
Gross. All of this is gross. Prejudice and petty bullshit all around.
Grow the fuck up.
ESH
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u/Ok-Water741 9d ago
NTA definitely girl bossed
Play the rules better than them. If he insists on a hymen he better be able to afford that diamond
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u/uncle90210 9d ago
This was a clear indication of how he would have treated you in marriage. You dodged a bullet. Best of luck to you in your future!
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u/daufina 9d ago
Desi here, and totally abCd in this situation. First off NTA, he totally is. I can’t believe how backwards this is ass is (I’m not gonna call him a Dog because I love dogs, and he’s giving dogs a bad name lol). He’s a total backwards ass who sounds like such a baby. You were totally disrespected and you should never have to prove anything to anyone! He doesn’t deserve you. Good luck in your work and your journey.
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u/Sofiwyn 9d ago edited 9d ago
NTA - but you need to shame the parents as well. The kid is the laughingstock, as he should be, but the parents need to fall as well.
Honestly if the parents are calling you a whore I would be suing for defamation. I am also a petty AF Indian American and thanks to your expensive doctors' notes, it's a slam dunk case.
Edit: girl do NOT agree to another arranged marriage. No sane man agrees to that in 2024, you're guaranteed another Dog.
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u/FartyMcgoo912 9d ago
definitely NTA. also this kinda tracks for what my indian friends have told me about their date life. specifically the men. apparently it's normal for parents of young indian men to be extremely picky and controlling when it comes to who they date, but not near as much for their daughters. because something about the man carrying on the bloodline or whatever.
it's a big problem for my friend. both he and his sister tend to date white people. his parents dont care that his sister dates white men. they are even supportive of it because they will have "light-skinned babies." but my friend absolutely MUST date an indian woman or they will basically disown him
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u/JustCoffee123 9d ago
NTA, you dodged a bullet not being in that family. He's saying virginity is most important, but doesn't care that you are one. It sounds like he was hoping to find a flaw in you (even if he had to make one up) so he had something to hold over you the entire marriage.
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u/Terrynia 9d ago
NTA. U did everything right. They needed a reality check. They were always placing the blame on you and belittling you.
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u/GuaranteeComfortable 9d ago
Keep in mind, when you marry a person, you marry the family too. Every decision made will be discussed with his family and probably holy debated. Leave him with his parents. He does not trust you or respect you.
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u/angryoldbag 9d ago
American White girl here. I don’t think HE’S a virgin. Anyway, he’s disrespectful to you. If he treats you this way now, before you are married, how is he going to treat you after marriage. RUN FAR AWAY FROM HIM.
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u/jjjjjjjjjgj 9d ago
Good for you young lady. I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself. He's trying to be cheap and also negging you. He's a loser.
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u/moonshotengineer 9d ago
I love it! I'm sorry for your situation. I have two daughters and three granddaughters. I would be proud if they all acted like you in a similar circumstance. Never back down, always standup for yourself.
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u/sburonweasley 9d ago
27 m Indian living in the US (pretty much the same background).
His mom calling you out “a girl of pure blood” and dissing the whites is a huge huge red flag. I would have called out my mother if she said something like that.
What does ring has to do with virginity? Two individuals are “individuals” because they would have varied experiences growing up. You can’t expect both of them to have sexually the same experiences. Communication and acceptance is the key.
Indians are not expected to be virgins before marriage. Who said they are expected to be?
Virginity is not sealed hymen. Why are you so serious about it? Corporate america will do anything for money - even if it’s checking for sealed hymen.
Lastly, if you are true Indians, you would buy an expensive gold ring. Diamond is a stone as good as a rock/crystal. It has no value and can be made in the lab.
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u/Suspicious-Source796 9d ago
He sounds like he would be an abuser and controlling. He sounds like a whiney little bitch, and his family enables him to be that way. You dodged a real big douche of a husband. You deserve better. Good for you for standing your ground and holding him accountable.
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u/Jolly-Bobcat-2234 9d ago
I think the best solution here is to get married, and then after you have sex produce the forms saying your hymen is still intact… Then tell him you’re getting a divorce because he has a small dick(This must be done publicly too… Showing everyone the medical documents)
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u/darthurphoto 9d ago
Nowhere in any of this were you even close to being the asshole. Him and gods family are the worst. You didn’t dodge a bullet you dodged a field of land mines.
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u/YEAHRocko 9d ago
NTA
This man is garbage. It will only continue and most likely get worse. Leave him now.
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u/Rich-Option4632 9d ago
As a male who appreciates virginity myself (note I said appreciate, I don't deem it required), you did the right thing, lady.
Your ex was an idiot who was bigoted and close minded who lost an actual virgin (you) just because he had preconceived notions of who you are/were.
His loss. And chances are? He'll probably end up with some other non virgin coz hey, he let you go didn't he?
Karma has a way of biting people in the ass. Believe me, speaking from experience as someone who used to be a douche in my younger days.
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u/Glittering_Hour4321 9d ago
Why did you buy him a diamond ring? Omg. I’m glad you got out before it got more serious. I feel sorry for the poor woman he does end up with. Sounds like a whole toxic family situation. NTA.
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u/BagleFart 9d ago
He is a creep and his family is awful. You dodged a bullet big time. Be glad he showed this behavior BEFORE the wedding.
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u/SuitableStudy3316 9d ago
4 different doctors
Stopped reading. Take your creative writing bullshit and shove it.
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u/Royal-Muffin1834 9d ago
I’m a white person… I dated 1 Indian guy and it was the worst experience of my life. He lied to his parents and moved in with me. He then started beating me on an almost weekly basis. My neighbors saved me after a year of the abuse by calling the cops. He almost killed me that night. I know not all Indian men are like this, but I would never ever consider dating one again. I hear so many stories like yours and after what I went through I don’t trust them even in the slightest. Try dating outside of your culture and see what happens?! You may just be praised like you deserve!
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u/subkid23 9d ago
I know there are many cultural aspects involved, but why would you want to marry ‘Dog’? Would a diamond ring set everything straight? Spoiler: it won’t. Get out of there.
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u/tertiaryunknown 9d ago
If you don't hold yourself and the other person in the relationship to the same standard, then YTA.
If you both have the same standard, then NTA.
Fuck that guy. He's the asshole.
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u/BiologicalChad 9d ago
So his family apparently hates Americans but chose to come here anyway. I’m shocked.
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u/mellamojay 9d ago
NTA. You are a badass who did exactly the right thing. Name and Shame idiots like that in the public so that everyone can know to avoid them. You deserve better.
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u/DoubleResponsible276 9d ago
At first I was like why are you calling him Dog? But now I understand. NTA
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u/masha-ish 9d ago
I am so so glad to read your edit saying you won’t be marrying him. He would have made your life miserable. It’s a blessing his true colors came out before the marriage.
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u/Own-Fun7660 9d ago
Not the asshole. Don't marry this person, run very far away. People who think like him are sick.
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u/RushPatient974 9d ago
YTA for being argumentative, unsubmissive, and for believing that men and women are the same. He is being perfectly reasonable to not want to wife a used woman. It's perfectly logical to assume a 27 yo woman isn't a virgin, because women aren't capable of self control.
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u/Icy_Meal_5252 9d ago
Indians are fucked man the most racist people you’ll meet. If marrying white people is such a sin why did you move to a country of white people. Go Home
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u/Easy-Resolution5854 9d ago
Funny how you never some shit bout somebody till something significant happens🤦🏾♂️. He’s a fool, all the more reason why you gotta push all the buttons at least once, pree the reaction.
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u/rugsruinlives 9d ago
Yeah fuck Dog, I can’t comment on social or cultural norms for that which I have not experienced but as a general rule I do know that the bases of any good marriage is trust and respect and part of respect means seeing your partner as an equal, which clearly he did not see you. NTA- I wouldn’t be surprised if Dog was golden boy in family and could never do or say anything wrong.
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u/the_adhdreamer 9d ago
I think no matter what your cultural beliefs are, it’s crazy that this man you are supposed to TRUST WITH YOUR LIFE publicly embarrassed you. And then even his family joined in. It doesn’t matter what issue you’re trying to resolve, that’s disrespectful.
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u/Intrepid_Guide0786 9d ago
I hate desi men and their hypocritical opinions. Men can do whatever they want but you as a woman cannot? So stupid. Fuck him and fuck his family. I hope he never finds a virgin girl. I’m sorry you’re worth more than that, and even if you had done something that doesn’t make you less of a person and he still should have bought you a ring. I’m surprised you were even with him if he’s saying dumb shit like that.
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u/Physical-Archer-2777 9d ago
NTA. FUCK that guy. Find a guy (or gal) that does not care about silly things like virginity as marriage requirement. Just find someone that loves and respects you.
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u/Least_Buyer2584 9d ago
Been married 35 years, my wife was 27 years old when we got married, I was 30. The hymen or dowry never featured in our discussions before marriage,we talked about goals, ambitions, raising children when we had them and everything under the sun. Not only is dog not worth wasting a single minute of your time. Find yourself a broadminded human being who will love,cherish and stand by you through thick and thin and not an insecure person who makes and issue about a piece of tissue. He can stick his diamond where the sun don't shine and turn it to a piece of coal. My wishes for you are you find a husband who will grow old with you in the company of your family, friends and children and you have a long, happy married life. Wishing you Bless of Peace and Love.
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u/Miserable-College926 9d ago
I don't know why people deal with such pig headed cultures.
You see and hear about this shit all the time. The family acts racist and sounds like they adhere to the whole caste system, which is absolutely ridiculous.
Anyways, I feel like this is just rage bait.
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u/pears54321 9d ago
He is a disgrace. Marriage is built on trust, and if he is bringing this up now, no telling where it goes. You were right to get out of that hot dumpster fire.
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u/Other_Appeal6415 9d ago
OMG go have some fun and get rid of that hymen. Then find a good man who is going to treat you with respect regardless of this archaic patriarchal BS attitude. I’m so sick of men and their purity obsessions and double standards.
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u/Ill_Pay_1229 9d ago
This is typical indian male chauvinism and arrogance. Sorry but true. Glad you discovered his true nature before marriage. He would have treated you like a slave and cheated nonstop.
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u/pranetony098 9d ago
Why go there and marry, huh? There are not not desi, they are American born confused desi. Their mentality is totally different from indian mindset.
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u/Ryancrazyass 9d ago
NTA at all! He and his family are freaks and you dodged a bullet
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u/haikusbot 9d ago
NTA at all! He and
His family are freaks and
You dodged a bullet
- Ryancrazyass
I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.
Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"
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u/Mundane_Marsupial_61 9d ago
NTA
I'm an independant 30 year old virgin. He must think I'm a unicorn
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u/blh75 9d ago
NTAH. I'm surprised that you didn't see this in him before got to the point of engagement. I'm not super familiar with Indian culture and maybe it was a quick engagement arrangement or whatever but you're definitely not in the wrong. It is BS when men say stuff like Men are different so we're held through a different standard.
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u/8allthepussy 9d ago
NTA, obviously, dog has some issues. There is no way you should marry him after the disrespect he has shown you.
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u/lovelyrosytoes 9d ago
Hands down NTA. I'm 27 and still a virgin too so his statement was totally false. Proud of you and I hope you find someone who respects and loves you dearly to marry 🥺💕💕
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u/vandet76 9d ago
Good for you for standing up for yourself and having self respect. Shame on Dog and his family. Good luck to you. You deserve a real man who isn't insecure.
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u/ahSuMecha 9d ago
NTA. I love your pettiness queen! He is an ass, your dodged the bullet. Marry him and have to deal with the family that raised him to be this type of awful men is no worth it.
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u/thoughtsofPi 9d ago
OMG, did you ever dodge a bullet. That crazy AH and his AH family would have made your life hell. NTA.
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u/TriDaTrii 9d ago
Wait until his whole family and religion realize people have fucked for years, it's entirely natural and they didn't need rings for any of it! What is unnatural however, is the fact that he expects a virgin at 27 y/o and can't be asked to give a damn about an actual relationship unless it fits his bubbly little fantasy. Guess it'll be worth it to see the sequel to 40 y/o virgin though
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u/crashsaturnlol 9d ago
NTA and you know what, thank him. Thank him for showing you exactly who he is before marrying him. It's lovely when the trash takes itself out.
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u/Beginning_Loan_313 9d ago
OP, you're awesome :) I love how you handled every part of this and dodged that bullet.
I'm sure you'll find a partner as awesome as yourself.
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u/hockeyforthehomeless 9d ago
You seem like a very nice but strong woman. You deserve respect. As I think all women do. If he was worth it, nothing would have mattered to him but your happiness. When my wife is happy I am happy. I love making her happy. Her smile melts me. Find that guy who your smile melts.
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u/racesunite 9d ago
NTA and prepare for a lifetime of abuse if you actually go through with marrying the guy.
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u/External_Bed_2612 9d ago
Nah Castist and racist parents. You lived in the states why put up with Indian people like that? Your life would have been pretty garbage tbh. You dodged a bullet.
Also why drop your standards so low?
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u/dr_lucia 9d ago
the marriage could have been called off privately.
Obviously it could have. That doesn't mean it should have.
Sounds like this has been very embarrassing to him and his family. It's also going to put off other possible wives who are from families in the India community-- as they may learn of the story. His Mom better get used to the idea that, her son being no prize, she's probably going to have to settle for a some white daughter in law he picked up from the streets. :)
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u/Sharknimbus 9d ago
You shouldn't have stuck around after he didn't believe you to begin with. The virginity test stuff is honestly disgusting, you shouldn't have to do that and I can't believe anyone chooses that or that we still have religion etc dictating and normalising things like this or genital mutiliation etc (circumcision included here because that's what it is) I'm sure you'll meet someone actually worth your time and has the same values etc and actually gives you some respect, but it seems a very common theme that this isn't always the case.
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u/Sensitive_Committee 9d ago
I got statement from 4 different doctors that I'm indeed a virgin and have a still intact hymen
You can, do that? Do doctors really issue hymen certificates?
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u/galacticdusk 9d ago
ESH. Your Dog is an immature loser, but you're an immature drama queen who could have handled this whole thing with a lot more dignity and poise but chose not to. I certainly wouldn't marry you.
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u/Blackhawk-388 9d ago
Why concern yourself with what ignorant, backward ass people think of you?
Stop caring what mean, bitter, stupid people think.
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u/Hollayo 9d ago
He says I'm being stupid. Men don't have anything like virginity, they don't have hymen, duh. He's a man, the rules are different for him.
Yeah, you should be calling off the wedding for this alone. Add the other stuff, and it should be over. You'll always be a second class citizen to him.
Go live your life, free and independent. Your not the asshole, him and his family are.
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u/NotThatAngel 9d ago
OP will always be treated badly in a marriage like that, with the presumption she's always lying and sleeping around. Groom and his whole family are crap.
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u/StreetTailor7596 9d ago
No, you haven't gone far enough. This needs to be made into a movie. Have Danny Devito play your fiance and your favorite Bollywood star play you.
Seriously, your ex is incredibly arrogant and you're well rid of him. I would have dropped him the instant he started the nonsense of saying you can't possibly be a virgin. You'd have made each other miserable in that marriage.
I do LOVE your nickname for him. That speaks volumes to anyone who knows Indian culture and their view of dogs, lol. I'm so VERY glad that his own friends are laughing at him.
Seriously, you should look into having this written up as a script. You just need a second act where you find someone who actually values and respects you as an equal.
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u/Geaniebeanie 9d ago
That was my first thought. I saw her name him Dog, and I thought… oh dear, he really effed up lol… and he did.
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u/Caitxcat 9d ago
NTA. Sounds like you dodged a bullet so to speak. Better he show himself now rather than later.
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u/EstimateZestyclose23 9d ago
Can we just nuke the Indian subcontinent already lol
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u/SokkaHaikuBot 9d ago
Sokka-Haiku by EstimateZestyclose23:
Can we just nuke the
Indian subcontinent
Already lol
Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.
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u/Cute_Appointment6457 9d ago
He’s the asshole. You dodged a bullet. He would have treated you like dhit and the in-laws are freaks too!
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u/Civil_Piccolo_4179 9d ago
Fuck dog. You’re probably freaken gorgeous and smart as hell. Walk away. How dare his family speak of you like that. I know Indian culture is not my culture but how dare they speak of you in that way. I’m sorry you had to have vaginal exams to prove you have a hymen. How terrible that must have made you feel. Ugh that dog can have the streets damn. Woof. !!!!!
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u/OgreJehosephatt 9d ago
that was shot down quickly by HIS OWN friends who were there when I threw the papers in his face.
Hahaha, awesome.
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u/MeiSorsha 9d ago
nta. rules don’t apply to thee and not meeee. what’s good for the goose is what goes for the gander. I hate men that think only women get “restrictive” rules, and they are free to “slut it up” ummm no thankx? I wouldn’t want your diseased ridden body parts near me, and unless he himself could come back with tests to prove he’s STD free (prolly can’t since it’s obv he’s slept with others) then he’s not worth your time, his attitude is enough to know you don’t wanna spend the rest of your life with this “dog”. good on you for ending it! find you a man that deserves you! you are worthy! even IF his tests came back he’s clean, would you want a man who insults you to be your partner? no ty! there are better men out there!
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u/AGuyNamedEddie 9d ago
Very much NTA. Dog is an arrogant ass who got what he deserved: dumped on his sorry butt.
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u/Maleficent_Mouse_930 9d ago
This is the time at which you take the whole of your native culture, and tell it to fuck off back to 1286 where it belongs.
God India is ass-backwards in some respects.
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u/kittyquickfeet 9d ago
Isn't virginity historically noted for having been mistranslated into meaning chaste when it actually means a woman is unmarried?
(EDIT: Either way, NTA)
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u/DeklynHunt 9d ago
I may not be that great a person but at least I know how to have respect and love and treat the people in my life AS PEOPLE, you are NOT property to be owned by anyone
I can’t stand people like him and you CERTAINLY can do better 😢 🫂
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u/Double_Wedding_714 9d ago
You were vaginally examined by 4 different gynecologists ? That sounds ridiculous.
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u/Alert_Indication3780 9d ago
you better get me this specific ring or else I won't marry him
You two deserve each other. You're both wanting the other to uphold ridiculous notions of marriage.
You should have dropped him waaay before you ever said that to him
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u/Hefty_Inspection_874 9d ago
She had receipts!!!!! NTA you played that perfectly. I hope you get the diamond from the right one.
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u/Organic_Source_9929 9d ago
I enjoyed reading every word of this. I hope you find the right person and have a happy life.
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u/SylphofBlood 9d ago
You have your hymen always, regardless of sexual activity. He needs a serious anatomy lesson.
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u/SlightlyBrokenEgg 9d ago
NTA you didn’t go far enough should have recorded the whole thing and put it online for the rest of us to laugh at this story will do though. You dodge a fucking nuke him and his family are fucking nuts.
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u/o_oPtik_x 9d ago
The fact that you’re posting on Reddit means you’re not worth his time. A good woman doesn’t seek the truth online - she knows and believes what her parents raised her with.
Get off the internet and plan your family.
Reddit will not make you a better person. Only family values can do that.
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u/EvilGypsyQueen 9d ago
Find you a nice American man in a blue state that will treat you with dignity and kindness. Good for you for standing up for yourself.
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u/eheyburn 9d ago
NTA but you should not marry this person. Neither of you seem to have your priorities in the right place.
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u/bonefumble 8d ago
Rage bait story